Anxiety (From the Archives)

Eva squeezed her eyes tightly shut, her nails digging into the palms of her hands so hard she thought they would draw blood.

Christ this was hard. It was so fucking hard. She had no idea how people just managed in their day to day lives.

That’s what therapy is for, a little voice said in her head. Well, yes that was what it was for, but it was also a huge fat off signal for anyone in her family to take the piss. Especially Great Uncle Rick. He was a proper arsehole.

Just breathe, she told herself. Her thoughts continued to race though, anxiety hitting new found heights. It wasn’t even proper anxiety, well that was what Eva thought. That was when you were really affected, when you found it hard to do anything.

Eva just lacked confidence, that was all.

Breathe, Eva thought, focussing on her breath flowing in and out of her lungs. Her yoga practice came easily to her, it was almost second nature to fall into the peaceful meditative state that yoga encouraged.

Calm, she thought to herself. She could feel the soft wind blowing gently against her cheek, and the biting cold of her armour through her many protective layers. Jorsin, her horse, moved slightly underneath her, impatiently waiting to greet the enemy.

Eva opened her eyes, and reviewed the battlefield below. The rolling green fields gave way to a sprawling camp that stretch for a good mile. Eva and her squad were hidden in the forest line above, having taken out the scouts that would have otherwise given away their position.

This attack had been planned for years, and currently men and women were giving their lives to distract the enemy, who had left their camp, and their prize, unguarded.

“Are we going?” Hether, her second in command, asked.

“We don’t have much of a choice,” Eva said, picking up her helmet from where it had been nestled at the front of her saddle, and shoved it on her head. The cold metal bit through into her skull, sending a shock of clarity through her mind.

“Ready when you are,” Hether said. Her voice was muffled to Eva, the helmet was not the best at allowing one to hear what other’s had to say.

Eve raised her gloved fist high into the air, the signal to stand by and be ready. Jorsin danced under her, wanting to charge down into the camp below.

May the gods be with us, Eva thought to herself.

She lowered her hand and kicked Jorsin forward, raising her sword in a battle cry.

Thunder erupted around her as the remainder of her three hundred calvary squad followed her into the camp below.

This flashfiction was first posted in 2018

Featured Image by Alice Hampson on Unsplash

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