I’m listening to happy music tonight, dear diary, because I want to write something happy.
It should be easy, and on some days it is easy. But today is one of those days where it is hard, and I have to work.
I’m too tired to try some days. Some days it’s easier to just not bother, to just float in the nothing, to just accept that I’m probably fucked in the head and let that be that.
Today is not one of those days. I have enough energy to try, and today I’m trying. So the happy music is blaring, the list of happy items is made, and I will goddam pull myself out of whatever crappy hole that I get put into.
It’s so hard diary, it really is. I don’t think I could properly exemplify how hard it is to you, dear diary, because that would mean I have to accept that there could be something wrong.
Don’t worry, diary, I’m okay. I know enough and I know what I have to do to keep moving forward. I’ve told you before in the mists of metaphors that I see hope, and I really do. I can see my way forward, I can see where want to be, and I can dance freely to happy music and feel happiness drift through my soul.
Just sometimes, it’s hard. Everything’s hard, isn’t it diary? Life’s a bit like that, on occasion things that are hard come our way to test our strength, and you have to overcome them.
But that just makes the journey more interesting. The journey more travelled, the journey that is harder, the journey that makes the interesting stories is the journey where the character faces trials and overcomes them.
It’s human nature to know that anything can be overcome. No mountain is insurmountable.
And I’m climbing this mountain, dear diary, I really am.
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