Casey turned to her diary to sort out the darkest places of her mind, to try and make sense of them. To find their purpose. (Genre – General, Genre – Free writing, Universe – Diary of Casey Macford)
It’s a hard place to describe really, that place where nothing feels attached.
It is like you float within your own mind, listless and helpless to the barrage of thoughts that come your way. However hard you try to fight them off, they continue to hit with the full force of their strength.
I have tried to fight, dear diary, and sometimes I have won. I win more than I loose, certainly more than I did in the past. Now that place is like a reminder of what it feels like to be out of control, to spiral downwards through a universe of doubt.
It is hard, in that moment and in that place, to understand the true meaning of the thoughts that come my way. In that place, everything is written in the present tense, taking things and thoughts that should be ascribed to the past and throwing them into your now. They are things that clog up my mind with problems that are no longer present.
Yet once I am free of that place, it is as if I can use it as a lesson in how far I have come. Because when my mind, dear diary is not clogged up with thoughts of the past and problems that are no longer mine to own.
I can see a light, a bright dazzling light that says everything will be okay.